Dear Lovely,
You are FOUR!
FOUR. I’ve been writing it in all
caps all today mostly to remind myself that it is true. Honestly, I’ve been trying to write this
letter for FOUR days now and I keep getting so emotional that I can’t write
it. I’m in such a different emotional
space this year than I was one year ago.
I was so scared and worried then.
Every single thing (mostly…) that terrified me last year is no longer
even an issue. It is absolutely insane
how much you have grown and changed in 365 days. And I think this letter is so hard for me to
write because I don’t know how to express how immensely proud of you I am. You have overcome so many obstacles and have
pushed yourself in so many ways this year.
There just aren’t words for me to convey how proud I am of you and what you
have done.
Yesterday we went for your four year check up. When we
walked in, there were two little girls sitting on chairs playing catch with a
tennis ball. As I was signing you in, I
watched you take off your coat and get a chair and put it next to them. For a minute or so, you watched them play and
then you said, “Can I play?” and then proceeded to play with these two stranger
little girls (until your brother ran over there yelling “MY TURN!” and demanded
to play too…which made you laugh uncontrollably. You think Asher’s brazen behavior is
hilarious). You approached and then asked
to play with stranger girls. That is so
huge on so many levels that it makes me bawl right now and tear up then. Then we got into the room with Dr. Singh and
she couldn’t believe how well you are talking.
On more than one occasion, she turned to me and said, “I just can not
believe how well she is talking now!” You
are 43 pounds and 43 inches tall by the way.
AND just today, you started asking me “Why?” about all kind of things. Which is again huge. I’ve been eagerly waiting for the “Why?” stage to come and I am so stoked that it is here (on a developmental level it is really important). So yeah there’s that.
Let’s see. In twenty
years, I want to remember that FOUR year Aria:
LOVES school. I am
forever in debt to your preschool and your teachers. They are such a huge part of your blossoming
into this new little person. I don’t
have the tears for that at the moment so I’ll talk about next year at the end
of the school year. But you LOVE
it.
Is a computer wizard.
You use the mouse all by yourself and it sincerely boggles my mind
sometimes how well you play those computer games. A few of them are for the 4-6 age group and
you are already bored with those. But
like Dad, you have to be reeled into sometimes because if left to your own
devices you could EASILY play for HOURS at a time.
Can write your name and count to 50.
Is still extremely sensitive. I am fairly certain that when you read this
at like 25 or 30 you will still be very sensitive. It’s just who you are and you should never
have to explain that. My hope for you is
that you never let anyone invalidate your feelings. You are not a baby or a drama queen or over-exaggerating. Don’t ever let anyone tell you how you should
feel. That’s crap and don’t take crap
from people – ever.
Laughs ALL the time.
You are so happy the majority of the time and I love it.
Is a fantastic big sister.
It seems like these days that you and your brother have gotten to the
point where you two actually play with each other (and fight…). Asher is a very physical player and you have
gotten really good lately and setting boundaries and then screaming “NO or MOM”
when he crosses those boundaries. You
take his hand and say “Come on Asher.
Let’s go play” and it is the cutest thing ever and seeing you two laughing
and playing with each other really is my happy place. You sit next to him on the couch and share
your snacks. You are always saying “Asher
too” for all kinds of things. He
fiercely loves you and wants to be near you always (which for a little girl
that needs her space is not always a good thing). And you find him absolutely hilarious. He is hands down the one that makes you laugh
the most and the hardest. You are so
nurturing to him and you give him spontaneous hugs and tell him good night and
that you love him. And it all just makes
me want to cry all the time. I rarely
cry as a human being but when it comes to you and your brother it’s just
nonstop water works…
Has become quite the people person. You ask for and miss Grandma on days you don’t
see her and tell me stories about Uncle Jacob and Aunt Colleen. You have a little plant in your room from school
and every single time we water it you tell me all about GG’s garden and how you
are going to help her plant carrots (even though she has never had carrots in
her garden). Last week, for the first
time ever you and Asher went with Dad without me to Grandma and Grandpa’s and
were totally fine. That is a bigger deal
for me than you I suppose. You seek
people and kids out to play with at the school playground and the park. You are like a full fledged kid now.
LOVES Dad. Okay. More like ADORE Dad. You love me and all, but Dad is where you
want to be. You ask for him when he isn’t
home and run to him (usually) when you hear him come up the stairs. You need him to put you to bed and want him
when you wake up in the middle of the night.
He plays better games and will let you sit your boney little tush on his
knee to play computer games with him. It
is beyond sweet. You love me too and
tell me multiple times a day so it’s all good.
Is a really good roller skater. You wanted Lollaloopsy roller skates for your birthday so I got them and I must say that I am really impressed with your skating skills. At LEAST an hour a day and even longer today, you skate around the house. Sometimes Asher will “push” you as you yell “Be Careful Asher!”, but mostly it’s just you skating around. You rarely fall and you are starting to get the idea that you can actually go faster. I’m excited to see how you do outside this summer.
There is just so more about you that I could write, but I’m
approaching three pages in size 11 font so…
I tell you every single day how much I love you and that you
are perfect. And lately, when you do
something good like jump over a puddle or go poo in the potty or write your
name, you say “I perfect Mommy.” and I say “Yes you are Aria.” and I mean it
with everything in me. Every day, I
learn a little bit more about how to be your mom and over the last year I’ve
learned so much about you and what you are capable of and Aria you can anything
you put your mind to and you are so perfect in every way to me. I love you and your brother so much that
sometimes all I can do is get emotional because there simply aren’t any words
that capable of describing it. I can not
wait to see how much you will grow this year and who you will become by the
time it’s ready for me to write your FIVE year old letter. But I can’t even think about that without
bawling so until next time…
I love you so much!
Mommy
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